Are You Missing Out...?

A roommate of mine from project this summer recently emailed me and at the end of his email he signed out with this statement..."Judge not...lest you don't experience God's grace towards you." And so this got me thinking...how does judging myself keep me from experiencing God's grace? I don't think I've got it figured out but this is where I'm at so far....

God's grace, among other things, enables me to accept my "bad". In all of us there is good and bad....good and bad characteristics....good and bad habits....good and bad responses to situations...good and bad. And when I judge myself I'm inevitably judging my bad because I have an "ideal" me that I think I "should" be. These standards or "shoulds" come in many shapes and sizes. For example, "I shouldn't get angry when someone cuts me off", "I should read more books","I should take more faith steps", "I should read my Bible and pray more."...You get the picture (and it's not that we don't want to do those things...the problem comes when we feel like we "should" do them...more on that later maybe). So what happens when we fail in these areas that we think we should do better in? If you are like me you judge yourself..."next time I'm going to do better...I can do this." When in reality "I" probably can't do better next time....and when I realize and accept that reality two things happen.

One, I realize "I" can't do better and so because I do really want to be more Christ-like I admit that I desperately need the power of the Holy Spirit in my life...I need Him to empower me.

The second thing that happens is an acceptance of God's grace in that area of my life. This also frees me up to hear truth in that area of my life because if I'm judging a certain area of my life, when someone speaks truth into that area, even if they are speaking it in love, I will not hear the love and instead I will just experience judgment...which leads to separation. BUT, if I'm accepting God's grace towards me in that bad/real area I can accept truth and grow because I know that I'm already accepted by God.

Any Thoughts?

Friday night I was fortunate enough to score a ticket to hear Chuck Colson speak at a local church here in Kansas City. In his talk, which you can listen to here, Colson included this quote which has had me thinking this entire weekend....

“There is not one square inch in the whole domain of human existence as to which Christ, who is sovereign over all, does not cry out MINE!”
-Abraham Kuyper-

Questions I've been asking myself as it relates to this quote...
1. What parts of my life do I typically cry out mine?
2. What is the cost, in my relationships with God and others, when I take back "control" of those areas?
3. How can I, in very practical...everyday ways, cry out "His" in those areas?

Currently Reading:

Making Small Groups Work
by Cloud and Townsend

There were many helpful things I learned this summer during our staff training and development times...but "The Grid" was maybe one of the most helpful. As I continue to understand and learn what it means to live in grace and truth with others and with God this grid has been a great tool for understanding where I tend to operate in life and how to move closer to grace and truth. Let me explain it a little.

On the "x" axis you have Grace and on the "y" axis you have Truth. As they both increase you have Grace and Truth.

Performance
As Truth increase and Grace decreases you have performance and legalism. Most performers still think there is a law or some standard that God wants them to live up to in order to earn His favor. Lots of judgment in the life of a performer because they are trying to live "perfect" lives for everyone but inevitably they fail, judge themselves, and gear themselves up to do a better job next time. Performers are never really known because what is shown is only the good...that leaves half of them not known or accepted.

Total Excess
As Truth decreases and Grace increases you have an environment of Total Excess and license. It is an attitude of complete rebellion and excess. This attitude is very self-destructive at seems fun at first until the consequences catch up with them. A lot of times Performers will slide into Total Excess after they realize that despite their best efforts they aren't able to live up to all the standards they believe are there for them.

Isolation
As Grace and Truth both decrease you have Isolation. Isolation is different than solitude. In isolation the person wants to hide and keep things in the dark. It is very easy to be depressed in isolation. People feel lonely, left out, secluded, and un-known.

Grace and Truth
The final quadrant is Grace and Truth. In grace and truth the person is free from "should" and lives life out of a desire to serve and be obedient and love. The person may not seem to be "a good Christian" because they accept the good and the bad and aren't so concerned with hiding the bad. They are dependent on others and God and realize that they need both grace and truth from others and God to grow.

So there is a brief explanation of The Grid. Here are some questions to ask yourself that I've asked myself.

-What quadrant do I normally operate in?
-What quadrant do I operate in with different relationships in my life (family, friends, co-workers, God...etc)?
-What is the cost of where I tend to operate?
-What do I need to do to move toward Grace and Truth?

Here is a little "Maine" humor for you. One of the Maine Staff told me this joke the other night.

So this Mainer was sitting outside a little country store with a dog sitting next to him when a guy from Massachusetts walks up and says, "hey theeya, does your dog bite?"...the guy from Maine responds.."nope." The guy from Massachusetts walks up to pet the dog when the dog suddenly jumps up and bites him..."hey, I thought you said your dog don't bite.." says the guy from Massachusetts...The guy from Maine looks up and says..."That ain't my dog."

Just a little insight into the culture

So the other day me and my roommates were driving around the Bar Harbor area trying to find the Bass Harbor Light House and we ran across this little shack with this sign on top of it. It caught our attention and we needed to find someplace to eat so thought "this may be interesting but let's check it out." What we did was make a judgment on the place because of the sign...our judgment was that this place my be a little strange but worth checking out.

This summer my eyes have been opened to how often I judge events, others and myself. Now the judgment on this little shack was, for the most part, harmless...and some judgments are. But often the judgments we place upon others and ourselves are not. Judgment brings separation and loss of relationship with others...and when we judge ourselves it brings guilt (which in my opinion is an unhealthy response to any and all sin for the Christian...more on that later maybe).

So our project director asked us in a staff meeting to answer this question, "If we have an unlimited power source within us because of the Holy Spirit why aren't are lives different...why are they so riddled with sin?" Have you ever asked that question? I know I have. Has judgment on yourself ever followed that question for you? For me judgment always comes after asking that question.

So why doesn't God just zap me and let me overcome the sin that so easily entangles? I mean, I do have the Holy Sprit living inside of me so why don't I see marked change? I wouldn't say I have the answer completely at this point, but one thing that I'm beginning to understand more is that God wants me to live out of my In-ability...not ability. He wants me to be a broken, dependent, and a humble follower. I'm beginning to understand Psalm 51 a little better when the Psalmist says...

"For You do not delight in sacrifice, otherwise I would give it;
You are not pleased with burnt offering.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise."

Paul also encourages us not only to have a broken and contrite heart but to boast in the weaknesses that bring that heart about.

The funny thing is that even though I "know" that God desires me to be broken and live out of my weakness I still live my life as if I believe that God wants perfection from me. I live as though I'm trying to meet the standards of the Law that Paul in Romans says we are completely dead to. And so because I think God still desires for me to keep the Law I judge myself and others all the time... (a good way I check to see if I'm still trying to live up to the Law is to catch myself making "should" statements. Like..."I should have my QT today...I should memorize more scripture...I should like this person more...etc).

To fight this attitude of judgment and to further embrace a heart of brokenness I'm beginning to accept at a heart level that God has designed me to grow through time (by the power of the Holy Spirit) and that He is more glorified when I'm broken and accept his Grace for my brokenness then when I try to live the perfect Christian life through my own strength. I'm also trying to accept the "real" in me and not just live in the "ideal" (I should be more like this..etc). I've also seen how much I need others in the body to give me grace and truth in order to experience grace and truth from God.

I'll end with this...Romans 7:6

"But now we are released from the law, having died to that which held us captive, so that we serve not under the old written code but in the new life of the Spirit."

It's my hope that, through the power of the Holy Spirit, I will be able to experience and live out that verse more every day.

I made it to Maine and it's been non-stop since I got here. This week we've been doing a lot of training in process learning and in the outdoor activities that we will be using in our process learning programs. The Lord has been showing me a ton about growth...both my own personal growth and helping a group grow together. We've specifically focused on the concepts found in Henry Cloud's book "Changes that Heal" (I highly, highly recomend it)...those concepts being Bonding, Good/Bad Split, Adulthood, and Boundries. I'll probably write more about what God's been showing me in the days to come as I process more. Here are some pictures of the time we spent rock climbing. We got to climb at this place called "Otter Cliff" and it was beautiful. You were actually lowered down onto a shelf that was 10ft from the ocean then you climbed up. It was crazy climbing while the surf pounded the rocks below you.

I haven't figured out how to do captions but below are description of the pictures (top to bottom left to right)

1. Top of Otter Cliffs
2. Looking down on the 5-8 climb we did
3. Rapelling down to begin the climb
4 and 5. Climbing